When did we as people stop practicing good manners? And why am I surprised and kind of giddy when someone does practice them?
The folks in my generation were taught that “manners matter”. We were taught; “no elbows on the table”, “use your napkin not your sleeve”, “hold the door for women and old folks”, “if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all” AND “always say Please and Thank You”. In fact, I remember my mother sitting me down after my birthday and helping me write out Thank You cards to everyone who came to my party.
Thank You cards! Purchased party invitations used to come with matching Thank You cards. Kids used to dutifully fill them out, thanking their friends and relatives for attending the party and mentioning the specific gift they had received from that person. Of course we dreaded having to sit down and write out all those “thank you”s. But our parents made sure we understood that it was the least we could do, since our friends and relatives had gone “to the trouble” to find us a nice present (even if it was the fuzzy, orange, pom-pom, hat from auntie LuLu). Sending Thank You cards was just good manners.
Today, Thank You cards are almost unheard of. I’m completely guilty of not sending a proper Thank You card since my Son’s first birthday (16 years ago). Why? I’m not even sure. Yes, there are excuses like; I don’t have the time, I told the person thank you when I received the gift or they know I’m thankful. But, those are in fact excuses, a point brought home to me when I received a hand written Thank You card last week.
You see, a couple of weekends ago, my guy and I attended a birthday barbecue for a colleague/friend of mine. We brought along a birthday card and a nice bottle of his favorite wine. He of course thanked us for the gift and birthday wishes and we all proceeded to have a lovely time at the party. A few days later he stopped by my desk with an envelope addressed to my guy and me. Low and behold, it was a hand written Thank You note. And not just a one liner either, he had taken the time to thoughtfully compose a lovely paragraph, thanking us for attending the party and for the bottle of wine that he and his wife were planning to save for a special occasion.
Wow! Here’s a young man, who works 50 to 60 hours a week in a high stress job, has a new baby at home and still he made the time to write out Thank You cards. Yep, my excuses went right out the window. And you know what, I felt very touched by his kindness, his manners.
We need to bring back the Thank You cards. We need to bring back the “Manners Matter”. We need to bring back being polite to each other and taking the time to show appreciation for one another. I’m going back to sending Thank You cards! Who’s with me? Let me know in the comments section.
